Tim Brooke-Taylor and Graeme Garden
Season 3 Episode 6 | 58m 28sVideo has Closed Captions
Tim Brooke-Taylor and Graeme Garden get back into character take to the road in Devon.
Tim Brooke-Taylor and Graeme Garden get back into character as they join Will Axon and Philip Serrell and take to the road in Devon. Along the way, these off-the-wall comedians enter the equally surreal world of two eccentric inventors.
Problems playing video? | Closed Captioning Feedback
Problems playing video? | Closed Captioning Feedback
Tim Brooke-Taylor and Graeme Garden
Season 3 Episode 6 | 58m 28sVideo has Closed Captions
Tim Brooke-Taylor and Graeme Garden get back into character as they join Will Axon and Philip Serrell and take to the road in Devon. Along the way, these off-the-wall comedians enter the equally surreal world of two eccentric inventors.
Problems playing video? | Closed Captioning Feedback
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Learn Moreabout PBS online sponsorshipVOICEOVER (VO): Some of the nation's favorite celebrities... Why have I got such expensive taste?
VO: ..one antiques expert each... Oh!
VO: ..and one big challenge - who can seek out and buy the best antiques at the very best prices...
Answers on a postcard.
Oh!
VO: ..and auction for a big profit further down the road?
Oh, I say, it's an absolute shower.
VO: Who will spot the good investments?
Who will listen to advice?
Do you like it?
No, I think it's horrible.
VO: And who will be the first to say "Don't you know who I am?!"
Well done us.
VO: Time to put your pedal to the metal.
This is Celebrity Antiques Road Trip!
Yeah!
VO: On this road trip we're with Graeme Garden and Tim Brooke-Taylor, two thirds of much-loved 1970s comedy team The Goodies.
VO: These two have been chums and close collaborators for nigh on 50 years.
Do you happen to know who your partner is?
I do, yeah.
I'm gonna be with Philip Serrell.
Phil is what sort of dealer?
He always says he's not interested in the old chair, he's interested in the bottoms that sat on it.
Oh.
He's very interested in the historical relevance and the context of the antiques.
Actually, that's...
I think that's what he meant.
I like it.
VO: Graeme is an erudite and thoughtful laugh meister, who's also a qualified medical doctor...
I was in Plymouth when I was a medical student, delivering babies.
What, door-to-door?!
Er, yeah.
VO: Ha!
While many of The Goodies' signature comedy stunts relied on Tim's considerable talents as a comic and actor.
VO: Today our Goodies are driving a great British classic, updated for the modern age... ..the 1999 HMC Healey.
In it, they're on their way to meet their opposite numbers.
They're the celebrities and we're the antiques!
Yes.
Yeah.
VO: Oh, pish-posh, Graeme!
But they are a pair of antiquarian maestros.
Hello, Philip Serrell and Will Axon.
VO: Philip is a Worcestershire auctioneer and road trip veteran, whose predilection for buying eccentric objects is, at this point, well established.
I'm gonna go and just buy different stuff again.
No!
You don't say, Philip!
Philip Serrell buying different stuff?!
VO: While auctioneering upstart Will Axon is new to this game, he's already proving himself to be Mr Confident.
Yeah!
You're a man!
You're a man!
VO: Well, he's not a woman!
I'm loving these Miami palms.
You know, Phil, I feel a bit like Crockett and Tubbs.
PHIL: Who?
WILL: Miami Vice!
VO: (LAUGHS) Don't get carried away!
And this morning those two are piloting a scarlet stunner - the 1969 Triumph Vitesse.
Where are you going?
Do you know?
VO: I'm sorry, I haven't a clue!
Ha!
Today's first stop will be in Paignton, Devon, with both teams aiming for an auction up in Cirencester, Gloucestershire.
VO: The next two days will see them tour the southern county of Devon.
VO: And the sunny summer weather certainly looks inviting.
VO: Time for our celebrities to meet Phil and Will.
WILL: Good two-toned... Yeah, you're absolutely right.
Look at that.
PHIL: Good morning.
WILL: Morning, gents.
TIM: Hello.
PHIL: How are you?
I'll let you know when I've got out of the car!
Nice ride.
Switch it off.
It's a beautiful car, isn't it?
PHIL: Well, you made it.
How are you?
I'm Will.
Hello, how are you.
Graeme, how are you?
Alright?
GRAEME: ..keep you guessing.
WILL: Yes!
Shall we let these two get on with it then?
What do you reckon, Tim?
I think so.
Make a fool of themselves?
Yeah, exactly.
VO: Tim and Will face off against Graeme and Phil.
Both teams start with a freshly pressed £400 in their pockets, so let's get the show on the road.
And they're off!
Bubble car, here we go.
WILL: Handbrake?
VO: Well, sort of.
WILL: You say when.
TIM: When.
Whoa!
VO: Oh, lordy!
Careful, Will!
Always best to look in the wing mirror, Will!
VO: Having narrowly cheated death once again, they're motoring on, in their newly-formed twosomes.
Well, Tim, my partner for this road trip... Winning partner.
I was gonna ask if you were competitive, but I take it you want to beat Graeme, then?
Yes, I do want to... Yeah.
And tell me, do you have an interest in antiques as such?
I do, and it tends to be along the lines of the history of it and the look of it, rather than the worth of it.
OK. Cuz some things I just...I just think Oh, that's wonderful, the way it tells you about the way of life and things like that.
The sort of social history context?
Exactly.
VO: Ideal.
VO: Will and Tim are headed for the town of Totnes.
Totnes is a bustling market town, which celebrated the 800th anniversary of its Royal Charter in 2006.
Tim and Will are parking up and heading off into their first shop of the day, the decisively named Not Made in China.
Ha!
They're meeting a dealer, James.
Hello, James.
Hello.
Hello there.
I'm Tim.
How do you do?
He'll introduce himself.
Hello there.
I'm Will.
JAMES: Will.
Hello, Will.
WILL: How do you do?
We'll just have a quick scan just see if anything catches your eye.
That's kind of how... Oh, this clock is fairly, erm... That is very showy, isn't it?
Mm, yeah.
I quite like the jaunty hat on that bear, for...
Yes, the smoking hat.
Yes.
What about this one here?
Yes... VO: Well, that's very fetching, Tim!
Gives it some gravitas.
Oh, yes, look.
Oh, someone's turned it into a little chamber stick.
Not very... No.
We're not gonna beat Graeme buying things like that.
No, we're not.
OK. That is actually an original little oil.
A bit of art glass.
I've just remembered I've got this hat on my head.
Yes, I wasn't going to mention it, cuz I thought it suited you rather well.
That would be where we hang the pendulum.
VO: Yes, but time is ticking on rather.
You're going to have to settle on something.
Ah!
What is that?
What is it?
A little sort of..?
It's a warmer.
OK.
Originally the top would've unscrewed and you'd have put coals in it, and it'd be like a... Oh, for your carriage, your..?
Yeah.
A little carriage foot warmer.
Or, erm...a picnic or something.
Ah.
It's quite interesting, isn't it?
WILL: Are you liking that?
TIM: Yeah.
Well... Erm... Oh... Campaign, I suppose, cuz it's... Oh, campaign's a good word.
Yeah.
Unscrews.
It's a nice word.
VO: It certainly is.
Campaign items are designed specifically for travel and were popular during the colonial era of the 18th and 19th centuries.
This is a little warming stool, decorated in an Indian style.
They like it, but what could James let it go for?
£18.
Probably scrap for that.
Now we're at the coalface!
VO: Boom!
Boom!
18 whole pounds.
I mean, it would be nice to buy something.
Yes.
I think that's got £15 written all over it.
OK. WILL: Look at that!
TIM: Last minute.
Thank you very much.
Listen, I'm left holding the propeller!
Good work, fella.
Well done.
VO: So, they got the so-called campaign stool for £15, and this contest's up and running.
VO: 'Allo, 'allo!
(CATTLE MOO) VO: Meanwhile, Graeme and Phil are in the car and on their way to their own first shop.
Well, sir, have you got a plan?
I think I'm gonna buy some very expensive things very cheaply.
VO: I think you've got the measure of this game, Graeme!
I was discussing this with Tim in the car, when we were coming down here.
Yeah.
And I gave him a bit of advice.
I said, "Here's a tip, Tim, always pay the asking price."
Oh, yeah.
A good move.
Or a little bit more.
Or a little bit more.
People like generous people, don't they?
That's it.
Yeah.
Do you think he believed you?
Well, I think he did, and all he has to do is convince Will.
What do you think Tim... What's Tim likely to come back with?
Is he going to be a Doulton jug man?
Nah.
He might be a silver man.
I don't know.
PHIL: Really?
GRAEME: Yeah, he might be.
Have you and him discussed tactics?
No, no, just he's got that thing about him, you know?
Yeah.
He looks like he should be buying a silver spoon.
Something that slips easily into a pocket.
Yeah.
VO: Oh, really?!
But to matters at hand.
Where the hell are we going?
VO: They're heading for the Devon town of Salcombe.
I think we should go round the harbor and try and find a boat.
VO: No, you jolly well should not!
Though Salcombe's lovely waterfront has ensured it's always been a sailing town.
VO: Graeme and Philip are cruising off into Mo Logan Antiques, and meeting the proprietress, who, oddly enough, is called Mo.
PHIL: Hello.
GRAEME: Hi.
Hello.
Hello.
Make yourselves at home.
VO: Quick as a flash, Phil's spotted something, and as usual with Philip, it's something large and heavy.
Can I pull this out?
Yeah, it's really heavy.
PHIL: Is it?
MO: Erm...yeah.
Is it really cheap?
Well...possibly.
Possibly?
Lord, that is heavy, isn't it?
So that's made out of pitch pine, isn't it?
VO: It's a wooden column, dating from the late Victorian period.
Phil's smitten, but Graeme seems a little skeptical.
I mean, who buys columns?
Well, I think it would be...
It's a good decorator's lot.
Mm, it is.
It's the sort of thing that would look... You know, I could see that in the corner of a really trendy bathroom, or in a hall.
Nice head on it or something like that.
PHIL: Yeah.
MO: Marble head.
Yes.
You can't beat a good bust.
VO: Eh!
Steady!
What's the ticket price on that?
195.
Can we have a think about that?
Can we put that one by?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
No, it's not going anywhere.
No, it isn't, is it?!
VO: Ah, another hat!
They never can resist.
PHIL: Am I modeling this?
GRAEME: Yeah.
Do you think that's me?
MO: Yeah.
No, I think this is just a bit too much for me, really.
OK.
It does look a bit small.
Does him no favors, does it?
No.
VO: Perhaps just not his color.
But Phil is really taking the lead today, as he's soon spotted something else unwieldy.
Ha!
He does seem to be on a mission to buy the most awkward items.
Do you like those?
Whoever buys those has gotta have some sort of vision, and the fact that they're totally asymmetrical... Mm.
..doesn't help 'em, does it?
No.
VO: No.
Again, these iron railings are right up Phil's street, but Graeme's willing to go along with him on them and the wooden pedestal.
What sort of price does Philip think they need to be?
We'd like to try and give sort of £80 for them, wouldn't we?
For these?
20 and 60.
VO: Mm.
Blimey.
That's a very substantial discount on the combined ticket price of £270.
But perhaps Mo's keen to see the back of these weighty items, with any luck.
Would £80 buy the two of them?
Erm...
Which puts this at 60 and those at 20?
Yeah, I can... Yeah, yeah, cuz they're quite heavy things for people to buy if they're on holiday here, so... That is not gonna go in the boot of your car, is it?
So I would be happy to do that.
What do you think?
Do you think we should by those?
Alright.
You buy that and I'll buy them and we'll see who does best.
Oh, no, no, we're on the same team, remember, here.
VO: Graeme's turning fifth columnist, eh?
But they've got the rails and the pillar for a bargain £80 all in.
Crikey!
Hopefully they'll be a sound buy.
The sole purpose of this program is to make a profit.
It's actually to make a fool of him.
Yeah, I know, yeah.
I don't need any help in that at all.
VO: Ain't that the truth?!
VO: Now, Tim and Will are in the Healey and racing off to the next shop, and Will's keen to ask about Tim's 50 years of friendship with Graeme.
Now, what about Graeme?
He comes across to me as a very intelligent man - very broad knowledge.
He is.
That's a very good description of him.
He's actually quite a quiet man.
He is?
It could be infuriating, cuz you think, "Now, Graeme, "what do you think?
", and you get nothing out of him, then suddenly he will come up with the best idea of the lot.
And you think, "It was worth waiting for."
Yeah.
VO: They're aiming for the town of Dartmouth.
Every year since 1834, the lovely River Dart has played host to Dartmouth Royal Regatta.
Tim and Will are gliding into Penny Farthing Antiques, where they're meeting dealer Nick.
Hello.
I'm Tim.
Hello, I'm Nick.
Hello, Nick.
I'm Will.
How do you do?
NICK: How do you do?
WILL: Good.
VO: And before long, it's item ahoy!
What about... What about art?
Do you like art?
I do but it's got to be...
It's a very personal thing that.
It is.
So I... You know, I'm choosing something I want, rather...
Mind you, I like that.
VO: It's a nautical scene, painted by the late 19th and early 20th century artist William Matthew Hale.
Ticket price is £145.
I must say, I quite like that.
I mean... Is that a possible?
I think it's a possible, yeah.
OK. That's a possible.
VO: Well, Tim likes the painting.
It's his pick.
So they're making a note of it and browsing on.
Tricky little things that nobody else sees, that's what we're looking for.
Exactly.
VO: And there's something on the other side of the shop that's really struck them.
Blimey!
Look at that!
Oh, we used to have those when I was a lad!
VO: I remember it well, Tim!
It's a carved club, clearly fashioned of English ash.
Ticket price is a thumping £150, but it's put Tim in mind of the classic era of The Goodies.
Well, I just think it's...
It's funny.
It's sort of... We did do a...
It's a great thing.
TIM: We did a caveman episode... WILL: Wanna get it?
..and I'm sure we had things like that.
WILL: Did you?
TIM: Yeah.
VO: Ha!
So you did!
It's got a great weight to it.
Yeah.
People do like wood, and I suppose it...
I suppose you could call it Treen?
It seems a bit out of our league, but... Yeah, it's a little pricey.
VO: And there's one more item they reckon might see them clear to a profit.
Hoo-hoo!
Oh, you could almost become admiral, couldn't you?
What's this?
What does it say?
A stalker telescope.
Hang on a minute, this looks like it's gonna...
I think you might need help here.
VO: It's a 19th century four-drawer telescope, designed for use when deerstalking on some heathery Victorian moor.
Ticket price on that one is a substantial £175.
That's a handsome object, isn't it?
I like that.
So are they a po...
I think that's a possible.
You like those?
Yeah.
If you can use your persuasive powers.
VO: So they like the painting, the club and the telescope.
They've certainly got the shopping bug today.
But those items have a combined ticket price of a hefty £475, while they're only holding 385, cash.
They're going to have to get a super deal if they want all three.
Watch out.
I mean, if we could get all of them for 100 quid each.
300 quid?
Yeah, that does make sense.
VO: Time to ambush dealer Nick.
We found three items.
Yeah.
The picture that we were originally taken by... Yeah, the oil.
The Goodies-esque club.
Yeah.
Cudgel.
Yes, and the telescope.
Give us your very best prices on them, and we'll see if we can't... What's on the picture?
Erm... Mm.
Yeah.
145.
So you're looking at about 110 on that.
Er, the club... Really I'd need to get 100 for that.
WILL: OK. NICK: OK?
Yeah.
And this one, this isn't mine.
Are you gonna have to make a phone call?
I'll make a phone call on that.
I mean, I know it's... We're asking... Just explain the situation.
If you need Tim to speak to him, that might be our ace up the sleeve.
If you know what I mean!
Yeah.
Can you hear me, JJ?
OK. Erm, one of your telescopes in the cabinet, it's got 175 on it.
I've had a really cheeky offer of 100.
Would you take...?
VO: Ha!
Doesn't sound like JJ's biting.
NICK: No.
WILL: 110.
Eh, JJ, would you take 110 on the telescope?
Whoever it is, it's 130.
OK. Alright.
Thanks, JJ.
Cheers.
Bye.
VO: So the telescope's stuck at £130, but could Nick come down a little further on the painting?
If that could be 100, a straight 100... NICK: Yep.
WILL: Yeah?
NICK: Yep.
WILL: That's 100.
Yeah.
And that's 130.
So that's 330.
Three...
I mean, we've gotta spend it somewhere, haven't we?
Yeah, but what if tomorrow we suddenly find the ideal thing?
Oh, yeah, but what if you don't?
This is true.
This is true.
VO: Could the club come down any further?
What about if it's 70?
Does that help you at all?
Do that for 70?
Yes, that does... that does come...
It's hard to say no to, isn't it?
I mean, that's a generous discount, isn't it?
I'd rather sell you all the things though.
Yeah.
I would like that.
WILL: Shall we go for it?
TIM: Let's do that.
WILL: Let's do it.
NICK: OK. Deal.
WILL: Good work.
Thank you.
TIM: Thanks very much.
I appreciate it very much.
VO: So they pay £100 for the painting, £130 for the telescope and £70 for the club.
That's £300, the lot.
That's a nice deal.
But they've blown the great majority of their budget.
Some very confident buying there, chaps.
Let's hope it pays off.
TIM: Thanks very much.
NICK: Good to meet you.
WILL: Thanks very much, Nick.
NICK: Cheers.
VO: Graeme and Phil, meanwhile, are driving to the outskirts of Salcombe... ..where they're visiting a local National Trust property that commemorates the life of its last private owner.
He was an inventor and great British eccentric in the classic mold, by the marvelous name of Otto Overbeck.
VO: Otto gave life to several inventive innovations over the years, but finally struck lucky with a questionable electrical device that promised many benefits of health and vitality.
VO: Graeme qualified as a medical doctor and is also a fan of that fine spirit of British quirk!
So it will be certainly interesting to see what his take is.
These trees could do with a cut, couldn't they?
VO: Always the critic, Philip!
Honestly!
They're strolling up to meet volunteer guide Malcolm Wesley.
Hello.
Welcome to Overbeck's.
Thank you.
Thank you.
Very pleased to meet you both.
Hi.
I'm Phil.
How are you?
VO: Overbeck owned this house from 1928 until his death, in 1937.
Although hailing from a relatively modest family, the curious and learned Otto managed to amass a fortune large enough to acquire this grand property.
Do come on through.
VO: Otto was in his 60s before one of his inventions finally took off commercially.
And in the 1920s, when he'd be about 64, he was suffering from chronic kidney pain.
And he turned to the field of electrotherapy, and that led to the development of a product which became known as the Overbeck Rejuvenator.
VO: The Overbeck Rejuvenator was a device that passed a very small electrical current through the body, and promised to remedy a tremendous number of ailments.
Electrotherapy had been popular since the Victorian period but Otto devised a new method of electrifying his customers.
Ha!
Otto's actual invention is this comb device, and he filed the patent for that in 1924.
In another room in the museum, we've actually got a working model.
TIM: Fascinated.
MALCOLM: Follow me.
VO: Malcolm has an original instruction card that lists the conditions the device claimed to treat.
Basically, if you've heard of it, it's on this list.
Well, certainly all the nervous conditions and the neurological conditions are on here, aren't they?
Yeah.
Anemia, asthma.
Do you get chilblains any more?
No, no, no, no - they've gone.
All gone!
And then on the reverse of the card, he actually shows, in this little diagram here, how it interacts with the brain.
VO: Otto had an electrical theory which he felt explained how the Rejuvenator worked.
What he said was terribly important was maintaining a balance between the negative electricity and the positive electricity, and that his view was that as you age, the balance between the positive and negative, it goes wrong, and that's the source of all the sort of illnesses and aches and pains that you would get.
Right.
VO: You don't seem entirely convinced, Graeme.
Shocking!
And speaking of which, let's electrocute Philip!
Ha!
I guarantee... Malcolm is the technician.
He can...
It's not gonna do you any harm, you know... You've got no hair!
He's got no hair!
But it will cure constipation and insomnia?
Apparently so.
OK. Give it a go, then.
OK. Will you take those two yourself?
Oh, I do it, do I?
Oh, yeah.
I'll take your coat.
Oh, here we go.
What are you laughing at?
Nothing...yet!
Can I just ask one question?
Yes.
Where is the nearest lavatory, in case it works very quickly?!
Just round the corner.
Right OK. Are you ready for... That corner?
Right.
Don't fall asleep on the way there!
No, no, no, no.
Are you ready for this?
There you are.
Do you feel that?
(YAWNS) I'm gonna...
I'll be back in a minute.
VO: (LAUGHS) Well he doesn't look very rejuvenated, but what's trained medic Graeme's verdict?
Yeah, I'm not sure about the negative and the positive electrical balance.
Certainly there is electricity coursing through our nervous system.
Yeah.
Erm, and there are machines we use now, like the tens machine...
Exactly.
..for relieving pain.
So you can't pooh-pooh the idea.
But the interesting thing to me is what he's done is combined two ideas.
One is the faradic stimulators that the Victorians had as toys.
Yes.
And the other was the fad for rejuvenation, which happened in the 1920s and '30s.
Right.
People like Gaylord Wilshire, of Wilshire Boulevard.
Erm... His thing was Ionaco, which was a magnetic belt.
OK. And that's how he made his fortune, like Overbeck here made his fortune out of this one.
VO: Gaylord Wilshire, eh?
Graeme, you truly are a font of knowledge.
It is a wonderful example of the sort of eccentric that came out in that time, in this country, somebody who has an idea...
He must have believed in it, because I guess he found that, in some way, it worked for him.
Yes, I think that's right.
It's very ingenious and it's, I suppose the way, that eccentricity leads to strange forms of creativity!
VO: And nowhere do we see this more clearly than on the road trip!
Ha!
Which it's time to get back to.
VO: So, with all our lads reunited in their automobiles, a hectic day one draws to a happy close.
Night-night, chaps.
VO: But you just can't keep a Goodie man down, and the sunny southwestern morning greets all four of them back on the road and raring to go.
Another sunny day.
It's a gorgeous day, isn't it?
Oh, man!
There's nothing like... England in the sun or Britain in the sun, is there?
Yeah.
VO: (COUGHS) Idyllic!
But the drive's sent Graeme and Tim wandering down Memory Lane.
Takes me back a little bit, to the Goodies filming here.
I remember one occasion, when Bill suddenly arrived, late in the morning, to say that he had just seen a jif-jaf, or whatever it was, in a reserve!
Bill quite often used to arrange our locations around his bird watching interests, didn't he?
Yes.
Yeah.
Persuaded the producer to go somewhere where he'd see a very interesting small, gray bird.
VO: These four birds of a feather have done well on their shopping, thus far.
VO: Graeme and Philip have spent £80 on two lots - the pitch pine pillar and the pile of cast-iron railings.
Alright.
You buy that and I'll buy them and we'll see who does best.
Oh, no, no, we're on the same team, remember, here.
VO: Whilst Tim and Will have been significantly more scatter-cash, spending a whopping £315 on four lots - the warming stool, the nautical painting, the wooden club, and the stalker's telescope.
Where are you taking me, Will?
Well, this is one of my favorite lay-bys in Devon.
Really?
Yeah.
Look, that's why it's always so busy.
VO: How lovely!
They're heading to meet Tim and Graeme.
But they're good value, those two, aren't they?
PHIL: I know, they've been... WILL: Very.
They've been, like, working together now for what?
40-odd years, haven't they?
Can you imagine us pootling about in a little Triumph Vitesse, in 40 years?
No, I can't see that happening.
Might be wandering around in circles, wondering what we're meant to be doing!
VO: So, completely different from now, then!
Tim's digging for info on what the other team have been up to.
Where did you visit?
It was Overbeck House, which belonged to this guy called Otto Overbeck.
Came from fairly humble beginnings and was an inventor.
VO: They're almost in the town of Ashburton... ..which was once home to the Monster Raving Loony Party.
So what better place for our madcap duos to get back on the hunt?
Tim's got the hang of that car now.
He has indeed.
I hope the brakes work.
Oh, my life!
How are we?
Alright?
Morning.
Terrific.
We've just been badmouthing both of you.
I don't feel so bad about us badmouthing you, now.
Oh, good morning, Will.
Are you alright?
Good.
Good to see you again.
Morning, Graeme.
Morning, Phil.
Partner.
Alright?
VO: Tim and Will are heading into their first shop of the day, Etcetera, Etcetera.
Ha!
That's the name of the shop, by the way!
They're meeting dealer Robert.
Hi, I'm Robert.
Hello, Robert.
Will.
How do you do?
I'm fine, thanks.
A lovely shop you have here.
ROBERT: Thanks very much.
TIM: Yeah.
Some beautiful pieces.
Is it OK to have a wander?
Yeah.
There's more upstairs as well.
VO: Indeed there is.
There's plenty to keep them occupied in this attractive building.
Feels like one of those programs about properties.
VO: Heaven forfend!
Well, it's a beautiful job they've done!
Rather splendid.
Yeah.
They're always rather fine bits of sort of...engineering, those folding rules.
Yeah.
That's quite neat.
There you go, for your papers, and bills, and...
It's not big enough.
VO: Tell me about it, Tim!
Remembering the deerstalker's telescope they bought yesterday, they've spotted a walking stick, topped with an antler handle, and are thinking of combining them into a job lot.
The stick's ticketed at £30.
At that sort of money, we could probably knock him down.
Just as long as it doesn't eat up too much of our budget.
It's not "deer".
Do you see what I mean?
VO: Oh, dear!
Leave it alone.
B-boom!
Wha...
Anyone got a trombone?
Yeah.
VO: What did you have for breakfast?
Ha!
And speaking of country life, they've soon spotted something else with a strong flavor of the bucolic about it.
Oh, look at that.
It does look rather splendid, doesn't it?
Pitchfork.
I do like that, actually.
Yeah.
Do you think this mark here... Do you think it's...?
It looks Japanese.
Yeah.
An Oriental pitchfork.
VO: It dates from the 19th century.
Ticket price is £50.
Did he say, "Oriental pitchfork"?
Elm.
I think that's quite unusual.
Japanese elm.
Yeah, you do get Japanese elm.
Yeah.
So it's almost a sort of... That's one of our possibilities.
Maybes.
VO: Best get downstairs and speak to Robert, then.
Look what we found.
VO: Hurry up, chaps.
Here comes trouble.
You come near us... Yeah!
Come on!
Out you go!
This is a great shop.
Yeah.
Where are you shopping?
Er...Tesco's.
VO: Ah, Phil, other supermarkets are available.
We were told you were coming, so we picked up the nearest things!
VO: (LAUGHS) A bit of misdirection there, Tim.
I like it.
But Phil's already spotted something in here that's taken his eye.
Do you like that light?
GRAEME: Hm?
PHIL: Do you like that light?
How much do they think..?
VO: But before he can do anything about it...
Right, you two, are you gonna leave us to it?
We'll leave you to it.
We'll see you in a while.
Yeah, yeah.
If they say, "What's the best?
", double it.
And then add a naught.
There's plenty of other shops in Ashburton.
Ooh!
VO: So, having chased off the competition...
Thank you.
VO: ..Tim and Will have a relatively scant amount of their budget left.
So we might as well come clean, Tim, and let him know how much we've got to spend.
We've got £85 left.
Isn't that lucky that that it comes to £85!
I know!
Yeah, but everyone knows that you're gonna be kind to us and do us a bit of a deal.
I'm never known for my kindness, to be honest with you.
Oh, dear, oh, dear!
I'm sure I may be able to help a little bit.
I will do it for 40, and it then...
It actually doesn't belong to me, so I don't really care.
I'm liking this one!
I don't know if I like...
I don't...
I'm warming to him!
He's, you know?
So that could be 40, and then this one can be 20, so that's £60, the two.
That's 60, so we got 25 quid to... ..spend on women and wine and song.
VO: Not on my watch, sonny!
That's road trip cash!
But they've secured a good deal on the stick and pitchfork, and they're heading onwards.
Rob it's been really kind of you to have us.
Thank you very much.
OK. Good luck.
Bye.
VO: Meanwhile, Graeme and Philip have wandered over to another shop, The Shambles.
Let's hope they're anything but, as they meet dealer Paula.
PHIL: I like these.
Good morning, nice to meet you.
Hello there.
You too.
Hi.
Thanks.
Gently, Graeme, do you like her bust?
VO: You've done that joke once already, Philip.
Oh, yeah.
A proper bust.
Yes.
Torso.
I think people would be too embarrassed to bid for that.
She's a big, strong girl, isn't she?
VO: Hey, watch your hands, there, Phil!
Honestly!
Do you like that?
Stand behind it and put your head over the... (THEY LAUGH) VO: But he's soon spotted another item which also takes his fancy.
OK, what would you pay for that?
I would only pay about a fiver for that.
OK. Then that's 53 quid too much money.
That's £58.
I think that's quite a cool chair.
Ah, it is.
You wouldn't sit on it though, not without a lot of work on it.
VO: Mm.
I'm not sure Graeme's convinced.
How old is that?
That's a very awkward question.
Erm... Cuz it's trying to be Regency, isn't it?
It is, but I don't think it is, by any chance.
VO: It's a wrought iron garden chair, modeled in the Regency-style of the early 19th century, but probably dating from a later period.
Phil's thinking he might be able to form a job lot of this and yesterday's iron railings.
Sensible.
Good color.
It's got the right styling.
Hasn't got the original age, but it's in good condition.
Graeme, I...
Your heart is set on this, isn't it?
Well, no... Have a seat.
Sit down.
Now, tell me your problems.
Ah!
GRAEME: Very good.
PHIL: Yeah.
Tell me what color my back is when I get up.
You...it's like a criss-cross.
No, it's a good...
It's a good garden chair.
Well, what...what's that one?
PAULA: Erm... PHIL: You've got 58 on it.
The very best to you would be 45.
VO: Phil definitely seems to see something in it that Graeme doesn't.
But, again, Graeme's willing to trust him on it.
Now...discount?
Erm...
So if I get in quick, can we give you 30 quid for it?
PAULA: No, you can't!
PHIL: Can I give you...?
No, we said 45.
40 would be the best.
What do you reckon?
Worth it.
Go on, then.
Do you think that'll do alright?
I think it should.
VO: She would say that.
PAULA: That's lovely.
PHIL: Thank you very much.
VO: Deal done, then, at £40.
Take care.
Bye!
Thank you.
Bye bye now.
Cheers.
Bye.
VO: But that buy seems to have put the scent of bargains in their nostrils, and they're scampering back to the shop they flitted into earlier.
I think he's got some really cool things in here.
I love the fire hydrant thing.
VO: And Phil's immediately back to the quirky object he spied this morning.
It's a 20th century fire hydrant, remodeled into a standard lamp.
Ha!
Ticket price is £155.
Too much.
155?
And that's all PAT tested and all ready to go?
I love that.
Do you?
VO: So they're in agreement on liking that and browsing on.
Right, let's go upstairs, then.
Do you want to try it on?
VO: You don't get away that easily, Phil.
See a hat?
Try it on.
You know the rules.
How's that?
Yeah, that's very good!
Is that good?
VO: It gives a new meaning to the term "Mounted Police", don't you think?
And if all else fails, we've got the vaulting horse.
Yeah.
VO: And Graeme's found some items upstairs which have him "Russian" to get Phil's opinion.
Ha!
What do you make of these pictures?
The little silhouettes?
Yeah.
I think they're quite sweet.
I mean, they're a series of some...story, aren't they?
Oh, they're not silhouettes - cuz they're not cut out.
GRAEME: Pen and ink... PHIL: Yeah.
..with a little bit of wash. Yeah.
VO: Well spotted, Graeme.
You do have an eye.
They are indeed pen and ink drawings, depicting Russian soldiers, and in a style somewhat similar to that of 19th century French satirist Caran d'Ache.
It says £155 on the ticket.
Do you like those?
I like them because I like cartoons, and... Those are really well done.
VO: Time for a word with Robert.
In the generous mood I am in... ..they could be, like, £120.
Which isn't a lot of money, is it?
I like your style.
VO: And what about the fire hydrant-cum-lamp they're also keen on?
What's the best you could do on that?
That's about the same price as this, isn't it, so..?
Yeah, yeah.
It's 155, that was.
Well, normally I'd, you know, would say about 130 would be the best.
Erm... Cuz the sun is shining, maybe I'll let you have it for £100.
Can we do the two for 200?
Go on, then.
I'm gonna pay the man before he changes his mind.
Yeah.
VO: 200, for the two?!
They're on fire!
Just checking then over, to...
Seems to be correct.
VO: Meanwhile, Tim and Will have traveled onwards to Newton Abbot.
VO: The New Town of the Abbots, as once it surely was, has been a market town since the 13th century.
Not to be outdone by the other team's investigations into whimsical West Country pioneers, they're keen to learn about an 18th century invention, devised by one of our more courageous British eccentrics.
In this case, at the vanguard of early deep sea diving, Hello.
Sorry about the dramatic entrance there!
VO: They're meeting Newton Abbot Museum curator Felicity Cole.
So, I'm Will.
How do you do?
Hello, I'm Felicity.
And this man I'm sure you recognize.
Indeed I do.
Stirling Moss.
Tim!
VO: (CHUCKLES) Better dive right in!
And here we have a room all about our local hero, John Lethbridge.
WILL: Lethbridge?
FELICITY: Mm.
And he invented an amazing diving machine.
VO: John Lethbridge was a Newton Abbot man, born in 1675, who developed an early device for deep sea diving.
It was designed to allow him to collect objects from the seabed though two armholes.
VO: Diving at depth can still be a very dangerous occupation, so with the technologies available at the time, it was a serious challenge.
His initial experiments were conducted right here in Newton Abbot.
So what he did was he got himself into a barrel, and a friend sealed him in and then timed how long he could last in the air in the barrel.
And then obviously he recovered and then they did it all over again, and he told him to roll him into his pond.
WILL: No!
FELICITY: In Newton Abbot...
In a barrel?
In an ordinary barrel?
In an ordinary barrel.
You've gotta choose a very good friend, haven't you?!
FELICITY: Yes!
WILL: Yeah.
VO: After his pond-based experiments, Lethbridge used what he'd learned to commission a custom-built diving machine, still looking like a barrel.
So he's actually lowered down, almost flat on his belly?
Yes.
You can see the rope, there, holding him.
Yeah.
He could last, he says, for half an hour in the barrel.
Really?
And he talks about near drowning five times.
VO: Yikes!
But his experiments with his new device were a success, and he was hired by the East India Company, a huge colonial trading power - and tasked with diving at the site of their shipwrecks, to recover cargo lost to the briny depths.
His exploits eventually made him wildly wealthy.
I mean, one of the sort of traditional, I suppose, British eccentrics.
Exactly, yes.
Hurrah!
Like this one between us!
Hurrah!
Hurrah!
VO: Hurrah!
The original diving engine of the 18th century was long ago lost or destroyed, but the museum has a replica, created from drawings made in Lethbridge's era.
Local carpenter Nick Hunt recreated the legendary machine.
WILL: So you're Nick?
NICK: I'm Nick, yes.
WILL: How d'you do?
NICK: How d'you do?
Pleased to meet you.
So you're the man responsible for this... ..rather wonderful contraption?
It is.
It is.
VO: They're going to take it down, to have a closer look.
Careful now, chaps.
I've done a little bit of diving, not to the depths of...
I'm glad you mentioned that, because can we get you in?
Yes, we can... You're determined, aren't you?!
I am, absolutely determined!
VO: Good.
So am I.
And so's Nick.
This is a man possessed!
VO: Fits nicely!
Even that's... That's quite a weight, just that piece.
VO: In you go, Will.
Hang on a minute!
Is that a gold doubloon?
We've got to put this one on, haven't we?
Yes, we have.
We've gotta.
Absolutely.
If you hold that one, Tim.
I will.
You know, I'm slightly worried that you couldn't get if off very easily.
You'll see what it's like when it's dark.
Yeah, thanks!
What's it like in there, Will?
Actually, that means up, so it should be that.
It's OK. VO: I'm glad you're enjoying yourself!
Well, thanks you very much for that.
It's been terrific.
I think it's time for a cup of tea.
Yeah, I think so.
Er, guys?
Guys?
Hello?
VO: Ha-ha!
That'll teach you to eat all the mint humbugs in the car, Will!
WILL: I'm gonna get you!
VO: While those two sort that out, Phil and Graeme are on their way to their next shop, but they seem to be slightly lost.
Surprise, surprise.
Excuse me - which way is Bovey Tracey?
Is it that way?
Oh, Lord, hold on.
Do you think..?
Oh, that can't be Bovey Tracey.
VO: No.
Do you know, I'm terrible.
I ask people the way and then I don't listen to what they say.
VO: Sorry?
What?
Oh, they seem to be back on the right track now.
VO: They are indeed heading for Bovey Tracey.
And Pink's Place an unusual antiques shop-cum-coffee shop.
Hello.
VO: Goody-goody, yum-yum!
Are we alright to have a look round?
Yes.
GRAEME: Hello.
PHIL: Thank you very much.
VO: Phil already knows dealer Tina.
How are you?
Are you keeping well?
Yeah, not bad.
VO: So he'll be hoping to talk her into giving them a bargain.
Ah!
Another legendary comedy threesome!
Comedy heroes.
VO: On your "Marx"!
Let's get browsing.
Isn't this Tim Brooke-Taylor up here?
Is that him there?
It come from London.
Could well be.
I think it is him, isn't it?
It could be him - 1917.
That would be about right, wouldn't it?
GRAEME: (CHUCKLES) VO: Soon enough, Graeme's spotted something that's just his cuppa.
VO: It's a tea set, of the brand Picquot Ware, a distinctive manufacturer, popular in the mid-20th century Yeah, it's quite fun, that.
Do you like that?
I think it's quite fun.
It's got a bit of a look, hasn't it?
Mm...95 marked.
I see that, at auction, making 30 to 50 quid.
35 to you.
Can we buy it off you for 20 quid?
That's too low.
Well, I tell you what...my best shot here would be 25.
Cuz I don't think... Cuz I think they're going to make 30 to 50, and if they go and make 30 quid, by the time... 28, and then I've compromised with you.
What do you think?
I think somebody might...
I tell you what, you can have £28, but do we get a cup of tea and a piece of cake each?
Of course you can.
Top dollar.
Thank you very much indeed.
28 and two pots of tea.
It's a deal.
VO: A cup of char thrown into the deal, and they're all bought up.
Tea for two.
VO: Now, both teams have their buys, so it's time for our tussling tag teams to reveal their purchases to each other.
They couldn't have been more different.
VO: Graeme and Phil are up first.
Come on, show us your... Show us your treasure.
We bought some rather stylish black drapes.
We're loving it!
VO: Ha-ha!
GRAEME: Here we go.
TIM: Would you call that black?
Here we go.
Graeme spotted these.
I think they're lovely.
Yeah.
Original pen and inks.
Are they?
I'll let you explain.
Yeah, I mean, they're in the style of Caran d'Ache, who was an artist round about the turn of the century.
And I think they're drawn for illustration, because there's crayon blue in the sky, which is an instruction to the printer.
So the printer would take a photogravure of the black.
Yes.
Blue wouldn't show up, and then he'd put a texture on the sky.
You've got a s... We're meant to be the so-called "celebrities" - not the experts!
You've got a secret weapon here!
Smarty-pants!
VO: You don't fancy a job as an antiques expert, do you, Graeme?
You're putting these two to shame!
Do you like my column?
I...
I haven't read it.
No, this one here?
I'm loving your column.
If you've got a marble bust or something, or a nice bronze that you want to show off, there it is.
There is one more, isn't there?
There is one more.
What's under here?
I mean...
Your favorite purchase.
Who have you kidnapped?!
You might've seen this before.
Yes we have!
Ah!
It's from our friend in Etcetera, Etcetera.
It is.
It's a really splendid fire extinguisher.
Great idea though, isn't it?
TIM: Yeah.
PHIL: I just think it...
I think that works really well.
And we've got a bulb in it.
Bulb.
Aw.
Is it one that you're allowed to use now?
We can use it, yes, because it's many hands make light work.
Hey!
It's worth it, just for that!
Yeah!
VO: Yeah, very good, Philip.
Now, it's Tim and Will's turn.
What an earth is that?
What?
This?
It looks like a prehistoric false hip.
It could be.
It has got something of the dinosaur bone about it, hasn't it?
Go on then, lob it over.
Yeah.
You just...
I mean, it's a real tactile... Look at that.
It's a great bit of wood.
It's heavy...
It's heavy, isn't it?
That's a lump...
It's a funky thing, isn't it?
What did you pay for it?
Mm.
We ended up buying three items from this shop, so we've worked it out that each item stands us in at about 100 quid.
Yeah.
What did you spend?
We spent 300 quid in this shop.
That's not about it, Will, that's exactly.
Yeah, it's... WILL: You're right.
PHIL: Yeah.
Who's the scope by?
Well, unfortunately it hasn't got a maker's name but it's an impressive scope, Philip.
I mean, let us show you.
Tim, grab that end.
TIM: Are you ready?
WILL: Yeah.
Keep going.
And again.
VO: I saw something like this in a circus once.
And then you've got a cover for the lens.
Right.
It's a nice size, isn't it?
How they reproduce these things, I don't... Well, you can sort of see that doing 150 to 200, can't you?
We've...
I think so.
I think between us...
Between us, actually...
If it was all in the same shop, that'd be quite... We could start a shop.
Yeah, we would have saved a lot of legwork!
VO: (LAUGHS) Don't be so lazy, Will.
But now that they've had a peek at the competition's stash, what do they really think?
He will be laughing uproariously at our garden chair.
Yeah.
I just don't think he rates that at all.
The chair throws me, because I cannot believe that that's worth anything at all.
At least if somebody sets fire to their lot, we've got the ability to put it out.
But would we?
No!
We're in the hands of the auctioneer now.
Yeah.
Now you know what it feels like!
It's out of our hands.
Would we swap any of our items for theirs?
Yeah.
And, er, I think for me, the answer's probably, "No".
The only thing I'd swap is Will for you, I suppose.
VO: On this southwestern odyssey, they began in Paignton, Devon, and are now aimed stoutly towards their auction in Cirencester, Gloucestershire.
I think the guys enjoyed their buying days, don't you?
They were jolly good company.
Sharp as a button, aren't they?
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Sharp as a button?
Are buttons sharp?
They can be.
Ooh!
I've just cut myself on that very sharp button!
I've got a nasty button cut!
VO: Mm.
You two are as sharp as a button!
So who do you think is the best expert?
Apart from us, of course.
Erm...I think we've taught them a thing or two, probably.
And I think they'll be very grateful, at the end of the day.
VO: Quite right, Graeme.
Modest too.
VO: Picturesque Cirencester is often known as "The Capital Of The Cotswolds".
VO: They're nearly at the auction house, and Graeme's feeling confident about his items.
How do you feel about it?
Quietly confident.
You could've fooled me!
You seem quite noisily confident.
Well, I think we've got some very good lots there.
And I do very like the painting, actually, the sea painting, you know.
GRAEME: Your sea painting?
TIM: Yeah.
Think of A Whale, by W Hale.
It's W Hale, not a whale!
Listen, I interpreted the signature.
It's gonna be a great blow to my pride if we don't win, I have to tell you.
If you don't win?
Yeah.
Of course we will.
VO: Sounds like everyone's blood's up.
To battle!
Oh, here they are, look.
Oh, it's a rooney booney.
Oh, it's busy.
VO: They've arrived at the rather poetically-named saleroom of Moore Allen & Innocent.
And Tim's just discovered that a photo of one of Graeme's favorite pen and ink drawings graces the front of the auction catalog.
Have you had a word with them?
Is this..?
Oh!
Oh, I hadn't seen... VO: With this front page publicity, and the auction welcoming bids online, let's hope they have the best of all chances.
Yeah.
Winning!
VO: Presiding over proceedings today is auctioneer Philip J Allwood.
At the back there.
£20.
Five now.
At 25.
VO: Before the off, what does he make of our chaps' lots?
The urn stand is a very stylish thing from another era, and I think it probably should do around £100, £150 or so.
The club is probably one of the more interesting ones.
That's one certainly I'd have my eye on.
VO: Tim and Will started this road trip with £400.
They spent £375 and have five lots in today's sale.
Anyone got a trombone?
This is just a bit too much for me, really.
OK. VO: Graeme and Phil also began with £400.
They've spent £348 and also have five lots to show for it.
That'll do nicely, won't it?
That's a winner.
204 then, the Picquot Ware tea set.
VO: Oh, "goody"!
PHILIP J: A very stylish piece.
VO: The sale's about to begin!
First up, it's the mid-century Picquot Ware tea service, which Graeme spotted.
Will the punters fancy a sip?
I've got to start you at 30.
At £30.
At £30.
Five anywhere now?
At £30.
At five.
40.
At 45.
50.
At 50 with me.
At £50.
Five anywhere now?
At £50.
That's a good price.
VO: Mm, very tasty!
£60.
On the book here, at £60.
Five anywhere now, then?
At £60.
Here in the book, at £60.
Five anywhere?
All sure?
And selling here, then, at 60.
Are you all done?
VO: What a start!
PHIL: Yeah.
Really good.
Really good.
Pleased with that, yeah.
VO: And the first for Tim and Will now, as their Japanese pitchfork pitches up.
And I can start you on the book here at £20.
At £20 I got for this one.
At £20.
Looks cheap at £20.
Five anywhere now?
Five.
Look, she wants it.
Go on!
The book's out at 35.
40 now.
At 35 here.
At 35.
A good-looking piece.
At 35.
40 anywhere?
At £35.
Are you all done at..?
WILL: No.
PHILIP J: 35.
VO: Sadly it doesn't make hay today.
Here we go.
Oh, it looks good on the screen, doesn't it?
VO: Now it's Graeme and Phil's weighty job lot of cast-iron railing and wrought-iron garden chair.
So we got a phone on this, yeah?
OK, at 60.
At £60 I have here.
At 60.
I'll take five now.
At £60 I have, for the lot there.
The chair's worth more than that.
Look.
At £60.
Five can I say now?
Five.
70.
Five.
80.
At 80 with me.
At £80.
Five anywhere now?
At £80.
Five if you like on the phone.
At £80, I have.
At £80.
Five do you mean?
No?
At £80.
It's here.
At five.
90.
At 90.
Back with me at £90.
Five anywhere now?
At £90.
Are you all sure?
Selling here at 90.
VO: Terrific!
And they widen their lead.
VO: Now it's Tim and Will's portable warming stool.
Can this heat up their game?
Here we go.
Here we go.
Start me, yeah.
Is that 50 to get on?
50.
£30.
Camping season coming up.
This'll come in very handy.
VO: Oh, dear.
£20.
Got to be £20.
20 I'm bid.
At £20.
Just over scrap value at £20.
Look, at £20 I'm bid here.
Five now.
At £20.
Got to be cheap.
At £20.
Five now.
At £20.
Right in front of me, at £20.
Five anywhere?
At £20.
VO: Quite a cool response.
Selling, no mistake then.
At £20.
Are you all sure?
Not another bid.
Surely!
Are you all sure?
It's selling, then.
Are you all done at a minor £20?
VO: Despite some very thorough auctioneering, the bid doesn't travel far.
WILL: (SIGHS) He was trying, he was trying hard.
He did... VO: Now it's Graeme and Phil's fire extinguisher- turned-standard lamp.
There we go.
The extinguisher standard lamp.
A most unusual lot, I'm sure you'll all agree.
£50.
30 to get on.
VO: Oh, it's not on fire!
£20.
No firemen in here?
VO: Oh, dear.
£20.
£20 I've here.
At £20 on the book here.
At £20.
At £20.
Five anywhere now?
At £20, then.
At £20.
Five if you like, now.
The shade's worth that, isn't it?
At £20 I have.
At £20.
Five.
At 25 in front of me now.
At 25.
30 on the net.
At £30 on the net, here, at £30.
Five anywhere now?
At £30.
At £30.
Five anywhere?
Go on, have another.
At £30 it's selling here, on the net then.
Are you all sure?
At £30.
Are you all done?
VO: Oh, Phil!
And that's entirely extinguished their profit.
VO: Tim and Will's wooden caveman's club is up now.
It put Tim in mind of a Goodies sketch, but will it clobber the opposition?
The club of Hercules.
Or the club of The Goodies, of course.
Disappointed I haven't heard anybody humming the theme tune today.
AUDIENCE: (ATTEMPTS TUNE) Yum-yum.
Oh, there you go.
There had to be one!
So the club there, there we go.
Er... a good-looking piece.
Well, in a way.
What are you gonna be for that?
And I meant the club - not somebody who looks like he's been hit with it!
Oh!
Where are you gonna be?
Start me.
£50 to get on.
Surely.
A good piece of nostalgia.
£50.
VO: Come on!
£30?
Oh, I'm tempted myself!
Dear me, am I.
20, then.
At £20 I'm bid there.
20.
Five.
30.
Five.
40.
Five.
50.
At £50 on my left now.
£50.
Keep going.
55 anywhere?
At £50.
At £50.
Look how good it looks!
Five.
60.
Surely!
At £60 here.
£60.
Five now, can I see?
At 60.
At £60.
Are you all done?
VO: Some more hard work from auctioneer Philip, but the bidders don't see the funny side.
I think we got away with that?
The mother-of-pearl there.
VO: Another from Graeme and Phil now, as their attractively cataloged Russian pen and ink drawings face the room.
Good luck, gents.
A cracking little set, this.
Good bits of Russian, er... That should go quite well.
Start me at 100 for the set.
Got to be cheap at 100.
£100?
50 to get on.
It's gotta be 50 to get on, hasn't it?
Dear, oh, me, oh, my.
£30?
30 all over the place.
At £30.
Five if you like.
Five.
40.
Five.
50.
Five.
60.
At £60, it's got to be cheap.
Five.
At 65, the lady's bid at 65.
70 now.
At 70.
At £70.
Five if you like.
Five.
80.
At £80.
Right in front of me, £80.
Thought they might make a little more.
At £80, right in front of me now.
At 80.
Five anywhere now?
At £80.
Are you all sure?
Right in front of me, selling here, then.
At £80.
Are you all done?
VO: Ah!
Clearly they aren't what the punters are looking for today.
You were 30-odd quid up, so I reckon you've more or less broken even.
That's where we are.
VO: Tim and Will have the competition in their sights now, with their job lot of deerstalker's telescope and antler walking stick.
Here we go.
Here we go.
Everything you need for a day out in the Cotswolds.
He's got what we were coming from, a day out in the Cotswolds.
Start me 50.
£30, then.
At £30 I'm bid there.
At £30.
Five.
40.
Five.
50.
There's a man who knows his telescopes.
60.
Five.
70.
Keep going.
At £70 at the back now.
Five anywhere now?
Surely.
At £70.
At £70.
It's in the room now at £70.
I think we're gonna take a hit here, Tim.
At £70.
It's right at the back here.
Are you all sure?
At £70?
VO: And any chance of a profit gambols off into the undergrowth.
That's our fire extinguisher, isn't it?
Yeah.
VO: It's Graeme and Phil's final lot now, the pitch pine pedestal.
This is profit or bust.
I can start you on the book here at....
I've got to start you at 100.
At £100 I'm bid here.
100.
110 if you like now.
At £100.
110.
120.
VO: A solid start.
130 if you like.
130.
140.
At 140 with me.
150.
160.
At 160.
170 if you like.
170, he says, yes.
At 170.
180 now.
At 170 on the left.
At 170.
180 anywhere now, then?
170.
VO: What a performance!
And that's put them back in the black.
Well done, 170.
A good price.
Yeah.
Very well done indeed.
Tim looks ever so pleased with that, doesn't he?!
He's really pleased!
VO: And finally for Tim and Will, it's their much-loved painting by W Hale - not of a whale.
It's a long shot, but can this save their day?
A good little piece, there.
Where are you gonna be with that?
Who'll start me?
Start me 50.
£50.
£30 to get on.
20, then.
At £20 I'm bid there.
£20.
Five.
30.
Five if you like.
At £30.
Five.
40.
At £40.
Five if you like now.
At £40.
Five can I see now?
He's done rather well.
PHILIP J: 50.
PHIL: I do.
At £50.
Five.
60.
It's creeping up.
£60 I have.
Five if you like, on the net.
At £60.
Go on!
Five.
At 65 here.
It's at 70.
At £70 on the net.
Five.
At 75.
Go on.
Go on.
At £75.
It's on the net here.
At 75.
80 in the room, if you like.
At £75 here.
At £75.
That's a cheap picture, at 75 quid.
At £80.
Go on.
Keep going.
At £80.
At £80, it's on the net still.
At £80.
Five now.
At £80.
Still looks cheap.
85.
At 85 here.
90 now, then.
It's creeping up.
It's doing well, isn't it?
At £85.
Are you sure?
At 85... Oh, no!
Selling here, make no mistake at 85.
No, no, no, no!
85 VO: Ah, what a shame.
They're sunk!
Well done, Tim.
Well done.
Philip, well done.
VO: So, Graeme and Phil had the last laugh today.
Tim and Will began this road trip with £400.
They made a rather unamusing loss of £153.60, and end up today with £246.40.
Bad luck, chaps.
VO: While Graeme and Phil also started with £400.
They made a simply hilarious profit of £4.60, giving them a grand total of, crank up the adding machine, £404.60.
Ha!
So no-one's actually covered themselves in glory.
Well, mate.
Look at these two!
It's not good, is it?
I think this is... We ended up in profit.
More importantly.
Fantastic!
Yeah... WILL: We'll leave these gents to it, shall we?
PHIL: See you, chaps.
WILL: See later, boys!
Bye bye.
VO: But at least they've had a laugh along the way.
On your trike, everyone.
And the profits from this series go to Children In Need.
Every little helps, eh?
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